An adventure, lost in time
Those times so vivid in my mind now, times when an hour seemed like a day, a day seemed like a year and Summer felt like a lifetime.
Times when a ride out on my little bike to the next village was a great adventure.
Times when I was awake, vibrant, unencumbered by conditioning.
It seems dreamlike, may be not real, just a fleeting memory of a time when I was young, the past, gone, never to be experienced again or so I thought….
Life raced on, for some strange reason for years I stopped myself experiencing, I closed my heart, closed my mind, closed my ears and tried to close my eyes as often as I could to block it all out.
Pain, grief, loss, joy, happiness, anger all pushed away or held on to so tightly, not allowed to pass through. I didn’t know there was another way.
I didn’t know that those times, those endless days, unencumbered, alive and awake, they were still there, just under the surface waiting to be discovered again. Re-born again into existence by simple, beautiful awareness.
So ordinary, so simple, so easy to miss, no wonder for years I didn’t see it.
Little moments in time
The coffee with my friend. My ears open, I listen to him speak, there could be a thousand people talking around us at that moment, but all I hear are his words. My mind is nowhere else but there. I fully taste the coffee, rich, bitter, strong. I feel my feet on the floor, grounded, solid. We seem to drop out of time. For a while our time there seems endless.
The drive to work. I feel the hands on the wheel, my bum on the seat. Everything considered. I turn the radio off, I want no other sound, just the car’s engine. I hear the gears changing, I do a little wave to lady who has just let me through and mouth the words thank you, I see her smile but she doesn’t wave back. A car shoots out of a side road right in front of me, I have to brake, for a second I feel that familiar knot in the stomach but I let it pass through, the stimulus has gone, it is over, I don’t need to react or respond. I wind my way across the lanes, the sun is just poking its head over the horizon, the trees like skeletons, bare, waiting for the season to turn. Just at that moment, I feel more alive than ever, unencumbered.
A walk in the garden. I let the dog out, he wants to wander around and sniff the myriad of different scents he can pick up. I look out, not much happening in the garden at this time of year, but wait that little palm I planted last year, crikey it has grown. A flash of white catches my eye in the bed at the side, snow drops with little heads dangling. My ears pick up on the sound of the little Robin singing away. There is another bird call further away, one I haven’t heard for a while. I can hear it over the sound of the traffic, a crystal clear ‘keeow’ shriek almost. I stand on the chair to get a better view over the fence and to the fields beyond the edge of the town. There, high above the trees are two buzzards soaring. I sit for a while and just listen, a beautiful simple moment in time.
Moments that are disguised in everyday life, I have nothing but gratitude for finding them again. Those times that seem to last forever. The great adventure is right here, right now. It always was and always will be.
When we think we have lost it, there it will be right under our feet.